This is a list of prompts used in the Quiplash series, alongside trigger words and responses in some of the games.
Starting from Quiplash, if a certain word or phrase is said, Schmitty will have something to say about it (this doesn't apply to all prompts).
- Danny Torrance
- Jack Torrance
- We're full
- No vacancy
- There's no room left
- World's Largest Dick
- World's Largest Penis
In Quiplash 2, some prompts can be disabled with the family friendly toggle.
- hoverboards
- hover balls
- sex
- intercourse
(a buzzer sounds)Oops. I just parroted the most common response to your response.
- rich
- 1%
- zombie apocalypse
- zombie hideout
- A.P.C.
- H.N.G.
- T.F.J.
- R.M.C.
- F.G.O.
- P.P.P.
- S.W.D.
- G.D.W.
- C.A.L.
- U.B.M.
- R.D.S.
- W.H.F.
- B.O.P.
- N.J.C.
- D.Y.S.
- B.B.L.
- U.H.I.
- S.K.E.
- O.P.F.
- M.E.M.
- G.S.D.
- K.P.L.
- Q.C.B.
- S.H.N.
- D.P.D.
- W.A.W.
- J.M.T.
- K.L.C.
- R.T.O.
- G.O.R.
- L.M.N.
- S.S.Q.
- U.A.D.
- T.T.T.
- G.P.G.
- F.D.T.
- E.G.D.
- W.W.W.
- R.O.K.
- P.I.L.
- P.O.G.
- B.W.P.
- Y.O.P.
- P.L.P.
- L.I.O.
- R.R.O.
- E.K.O.
- C.F.F.
- L.D.R.
- S.F.F.
- Come up with a new hilarious sitcom with this word in the title:
- Come up with a new TV show with this word in the title:
- Come up with a hit song with this word in the title:
- Come up with a romantic comedy film with this word in the title:
- Come up with a classic novel with this word in the title:
- Come up with a new sport with this word in its name:
- Come up with an award-winning movie with this word in its title:
- Come up with a shocking newspaper headline with this word in its title:
- Come up with a new cartoon character with this word in his name:
- Come up with a hot new Broadway musical with this word in its name:
- Come up with a fast food restaurant with this word in its name:
- Come up with a hit new video game with this word in its title:
- Come up with a music group with this word in their name:
- Come up with a clever insult using this word:
- Come up with a flashy wrestling move with this word in its name:
- Come up with a new snack food with this word in its name:
- Come up with a hot new website with this word in its name:
- PORK
- MULE
- PANTS
- TAINT
- DUMP
- PUMP
- LICK
- DUCK
- WART
- NUN
- SACK
- BEARD
- BALLS
- OINK
- NUT
- CORN
- BUNS
- TROUT
- TWERK
- BUMP
- CLOWN
- APE
- FLOP
- SCREW
- TUB
- CHEEK
- SCAB
- SQUEEZE
- PUKE
- FUDGE
- BREAD
- FORK
- KILL
- GREASE
- GAS
- ZIT
- WIG
- SQUID
- HONK
- CHUNK
- SQUIRT
- DORK
- TOOTH
- MOIST
- SPANK
- ITCH
- SLIME
In Quiplash 3, each prompt has at least 2 safety quips for a specific prompt, unlike Quiplash 2. There's also US and family friendly (X) toggles for the prompts.
- beepers
- frenemies
- reasons to stay inside
- Shhhh... only get the house salad
- Would you like to hear my mixtape?
- Run. RUN!!!!!
- society
- a slippery banana peel
- a very average horse
- Macebook
- Instaham
- UnlinkedIn
- Ham-tootin'
- Flibbertigibbet
- Cod-dangit
- a cozy caftan
- sandpaper shorts
- a frown
- tiny stand-up comedian
- Nintendo 64
- \"Chicken Soup for the Soul\" book
- the enemy
- Gim-Gammy and Paul
- Dr. and Mrs. Charleston
- gambler
- incinerator
- life coach
- the first hoagie
- mindless small talk
- our ugliest ancestor
- Invest in bonds
- Something interesting for once
- Make scrambled eggs
- silos filled with jelly beans
- wear a three-piece suit on the tractor
- can't spit fer nuthin'
- You're disgusting
- I thought what we had was special
- Why did you wet the bed so much?
- Butter
- Loose Kale
- No Handwashing
- niblets of corn
- crab meat
- candy canes
- young feet
- fake meat
- what little lambs say
- emotional baggage
- lukewarm dip
- loose firecrackers
- cigarette butts
- socks with holes in them
- cherry pits
- Wound dressing
- Decoupage
- Jet fuel
- Pro-Capitalism
- Blank
- Math!
- Easy Listening Fest
- Hot Meal-a-palooza
- Home by Eleven
- hook 'em horns
- the human heart
- a military-issue flash grenade
- Fart
- Farts
- Chonky
- Hypertensionetti
- Bucket
- You're looking especially scaly today
- That's the widest jaw I've ever seen
- Hey baby, shake that rattle for me
- real jerks
- whatwolves
- their younger selves
- Barrels of oil
- selfies
- Press Secretaries
- build his own gaming PC
- be emotionally available
- pull off overalls
- Nachos
- Chronic anxiety
- The stuff Pringles are made of
- The Decents
- The "Meh"mmies
- a werewolf
- your dog
- in a second location
- Beyblades
- perfecting his sourdough starter
- stamp collecting
- the inventor of Poo-Pourri
- you, the viewer at home
- your future husband
- the killer was let out early on good behavior
- Turns out the real monster was society
- Thank you for reading my cover letter
- what do I feel like eating?
- what's my favorite color?
- why does the sun keep rising?
- obnoxious earrings
- enjoying the hits of the '90s
- radical coasters
- my hotter friend
- my raised standards
- ...actually it definitely is you
- Count Dooku
- Mr. Peanut
- your dead pet
- The Pain Train
- Farty Friends
- The Stinky Boyz
- teeth keep falling out
- keep losing ability to fly
- you're sharing your bed with a wolverine
- peep toe wedges
- an annulment
- a sequel
- an all-seeing third eye
- smaller, worse bangs
- a tiny Bugs Bunny tattoo
- Baby Gloomers
- Gen Why
- Willenials
- my lower shoulders
- portable seat cushion
- Butty Booty Butt Butt
- I agree with everything in this post
- I'm happy to be proven wrong!
- I don't have an opinion.
- Garth Vadar
- Tabitha Hinkledorp
- Barry S. Runningfromthemafia
- Existential Dread
- Stock Market
- Plain block of wood
- a fresh turd
- cans of tuna fish
- The Tunnel of Making Love
- The Merry-Go-Down
- The Scrambler
- Techy
- Emoji
- Bodhi
- a terrible casserole
- falling down stairs more possible
- for a bad hair day
- Say My Name
- Every Breath You Take
- Gangnam Style
- kale chips
- celery
- carrots
- White People Problems
- Codependent Relationships
- Two Nice Apartments
- Jesus-shaped waffle iron
- "Miracle" hair growth oil
- Vatican timeshares
- holding hands
- between two health inspectors
- ear play
- a food court counter with no lines
- a normal person, for once
- someone about to get kicked out for nudity
- their mother-in-laws
- student loan debt
- fancy bugs
- caramels
- treasure maps
- MVP
- Johnny Bad Feet
- Flip Flop
- candy
- a horse
- too much gas
- Our Home Is Legally Your Home
- Hello forever!
- Please take off your feet
- cheek shingles
- hair squares
- facial swatch
- tub was stolen
- big hole in wall where door should be
- had to share bed with bellhop
- Heck's Angels
- The Mighty Karens
- The Bottle Brigade
- Hole in one!
- I know game theory!
- Elvis is alive!
- buy socks for
- fold into quarters
- locate in a crowded theater
- logrolling
- trampoline
- armpits
- roadkill
- an infected wound
- blobfish
- sticks of dynamite
- pots and pans
- a set of encyclopedias
- a course on public speaking
- their uncle's stamp collection
- ceramic clown masks
- sewer rats
- photos of total darkness
- BEES!
- a million paperclips
- the deed to the ranch
- boneless chicken wings
- smaller cacti
- pus
- Cliffdiver
- Wanderer
- Rammer
- the empty void of space
- unlikely animal friendships
- male pattern baldness
- knick-knacks in the back
- fine behind
- less blunt than the front
- Silent Ride
- Clown Cars Unlimited
- Cars with Wings
- baba booey
- I wish I had gotten into more internet fights
- Hope God is hot
- Loose handfuls of chili
- Edible-ish silica packets
- Haggis for a crowd
- full of rage
- leaving
- past feeling emotions
- May I feel your spine?
- You know, Dewy Decimal was my father.
- My love for you is no fiction
- Pringles
- Loose grapes
- snakes
- My water broke!
- I hope you didn't want this one back.
- What a buffet for me, the Jeans Eater!
- made the class swear fealty to your kingdom
- conducted regular toy executions
- violated the Geneva Conventions
- Basement Gaming Day
- Lonely Dive Bar Day
- Single 'n Loving It Day
- Maybe Later
- Punk-tual
- Only Wednesdays
- other people's bank accounts
- her motorcycle
- visible
- That's Our Plato!
- Three Men and a Theorem
- Greek's Company
- electric guitars
- hot sauce
- the snapping turtle
- The Slow and the Serene
- Rambo's Porch Swing
- Spider-Man Quarantined at Home
- hoo boy, I'm not doing too good, huh
- I'll see you in COURT
- I love being fooled! Hooray!
- Stardew Valley
- Nintendoland
- World of Warcraft
- chin topiary
- Sully from Monsters Inc
- Teddy Beard
- Save the trees
- Insurance for introverts
- TP better for making mummies anyway
- interior latex paint
- burnt toast
- exfoliation
- The Influencer
- The Tiger King
- A Metaphor for Society
- Pixar animator asking for time off
- bottle of massage oil
- laundry basket
- Fun Enthusiast
- Animal Protector
- Gift Wrap Specialist
- Mr. Roadkill
- Dean Destroya
- Mrs. Decepticon
- your eyes
- your birthday cake
- your cousin
- pavement brick
- patch of moss
- roadie for A Flock of Seagulls
- Toms
- Stovetops
- Podiatrists
- cable
- uninteresting people
- ear
- Eau De Fedora
- Axe: Garbage Truck
- pure corn syrup
- Medical Degrees
- Pants
- Border Collies
- a second, smaller greenroom
- a way to make me feel whole again
- the biggest hoagie you've ever seen
- Impotent Potables
- Alex Trebek's Favorite Jams
- Must Not Be Answered in Form of Question
- Empty Promises
- Disappointment
- Unexpected late-night Amazon orders
- marshmallows
- A very young elephant
- dinosaur gummies
- a corpse
- a political campaign
- a bunny rabbit
- smile
- get God's kid a b-day present
- buy eggs, milk, brimstone
- Sponge friends
- Blood buddies
- Menstruation reclamations
- Rent II: Mortgage Payment
- Guys & Dolls & Cops & Cowboys
- North Side Story
- lunch meat
- breakup texts
- toilet paper
- Some actually good advice
- The car
- A bag of loose mice
- Delicious jelly filling
- nature wants us to lick babies
- Perfect seasoning in the womb
- Respect
- cookie ladder
- Upgrade Onesie to a Twosie
- Didn't I see you here last Sunday?
- What's your confirmation name?
- This is usually the only place I kneel
- Nothing but murder
- Escape
- Dating the cat
- not staying in your bowling lane
- impersonating police
- having a bad hair day
- sloppy joes
- plain tap water
- dinosaur nuggets
- Bob the Tapeworm
- GWAR
- The Man Who Will Kill Your Parents
- drunk
- away from their spouse
- a quick massage
- donkey organs
- helium
- regret
- chocolate cake
- my husband
- bubblegum
- Funky Dunking
- Mash 'n Splash
- Naked Pool Time
- Larry Seinfeld
- hunky chunk
- sloppy daddy
- day-old Doritos
- chronic depression
- gamer fuel
- weeping
- wet taco
- welding
- Only See in Magazines
- Leave Shortly After Arriving
- Need to Clean
- Freak You Out
- Bermuda
- Get What's His!
- Clorox
- good thoughts
- bees
- ignoring the metric system
- King Kong attacks
- Coca-Cola flavors
- impulsive spending habits
- dreams
- trunk contents
- standardized testing
- rom-coms
- a pint of rocky road
- return to 90s style cell phone ringtones
- free breadsticks at all restaurants
- National Online Troll Day
- the ocean
- a lean pastrami sandwich
- banana splits
- eggplant emoji a la mode
- apple pie on occasion
- Reuben sandwich
- midnight buffet
- banana split
- khaki pants
- judgement
- Steely Dan
- Two words: infinite milkshakes
- Kidnap the prom king
- winning bingo card
- a little extra ice cream
- Spongebob's phone number
- working at the car dealership
- regretting his choices
- his taxes
- pancake batter
- Young Face IPA
- balsamic vinegar
- opened jar of mayo
- dessert
- Anybody!
- Tall guy!
- jams
- smooches
- my great aunt
- a cartoon cigarette
- my yoga instructor
- show choir
- a roller coaster
- weekly bake-offs
- a smaller baguette
- a nest of baby snakes
- the cursed idol
- An anti-love protest
- At your wedding
- family reunion
- your radical brothers and rat dad
- delicious alligators
- law firm adjacent
- debt
- my living room
- a nickel
- a classified ad
- lint
- a six pack of paper towels
- dinner for ten people
- the right to drive on the shoulder in rush hour
- Pasta
- Tweet
- your mother-in-law
- warm milk
- sport utility vehicles
- assassins
- sugar in water
- whiskey
- lasagna
- being late all the time
- cheese
- my college roommate
- God Jr.
- a young starlet with big dreams
- underwear sounds
- tempting whispers
- rattlesnake
- stone cold silence
- about to be punched
- a speck of dust in the wind
- reattaching limbs
- repairing the ceiling
- juggling pianos
- Ensign Crunch
- ol' milk 'n spoon
- breakfast buddy
- multiple roosters
- throw bed out window
- ice cold underwear
- fur in the shower
- claw scratches on front door
- closet full of stolen picnic baskets
- big fat fish
- always salmon, always
- 7,000 french fries
- I'm lazy
- kidnapped by aliens who want to harvest my hair
- heard my ex is gonna be there
- BBQ-ing while wearing linen shorts
- swimming in pudding
- adopting a dog
- dance
- bad
- a one-way mirror
- a sustainable farm
- coal
- a body
- the submissive spoon
- the singles mixer
- leather oven mitt
- werewolves
- not enough light
- no vitamin D
- leg sleeves
- PANTS!
- clothing tubes
- the cute one
- most of my science class
- Biebs
- evil chickens
- Brian
- Is kicking allowed?
- I'm good at punches
- love your trunks!
- Normal Foot
- Brian
- Endangered Chocolate Chip
- Sloppy Pigs
- sea anemone
- ideas
- monsters under your bed
- in a pile of snakes
- someone else's eye
- the ceiling
- yelling
- crying in the bathroom
- EDM
- charming
- a sea monster
- the newlyweds next door
- something creepy
- making balloon animals
- a giant ball of used underwear
- that alligator you flushed as a child
- a giant nut! (I'm allergic to nuts)
- Jimmy Buffett tunes
- raccoon shrieks
- "Weird Al" Yankovic
- ugly sweaters
- leftovers about to go bad
- trash out
- live in a fish tank
- are not bad dogs
- are cats
- Just chatty
- Because I listen!
- wrong number?
- beanie babies will gain value
- most marketing claims
- there's nothing inside pill pockets
- eating snacks
- old cell phones
- Tamagotchis
- air mattress
- a friend who owes you a favor
- an actual boat
- make best friends
- drink milk
- hurt some feelings
- they smell like hot plastic
- they're mean to your mom
- keep complimenting your muumuu
- tampon
- health care
- set of linens
- any hip hop star
- a contestant from Love is Blind
- that dude from SNL
- old beef stew
- fuzzy handcuffs
- bag of dog poop
- hot garbage
- half-price appetizers
- extra dogs
- happy hour
- climate change
- teen angst
- gerbils
- hand-written checks
- blood
- Twitter bursts into flames
- second-degree burns
- your mom calls you
- a live chicken
- Barbies
- a giant foam finger
- objection
- sustained relationships
- the courting room
- Catmandu
- Meow Miss
- Catcaller
- these idiots
- where am I?
- squawk squawk
- boat flies away
- it was all a dream
- sharks
- bone
- the bathroom
- Nike
- a red hat
- business casual
- laxative
- pure horse adrenaline
- chili peppers
- Noogie
- property tax bill
- chicken pox
- let's have a look at that mole
- So I'm getting divorced. Sucks.
- mouths are disgusting if you think about it
- Pennywise's Science Minute
- Learning Through Screams
- Nothing but Recess!
- family albums
- my credit cards
- life-saving medication
- bite your nails
- eat ramen
- bad breath
- my podcast feed
- an extended beer belch
- Alvin and the Chipmunks
- plastic bags
- other people
- sadness
- Baby Shark
- heavy breathing sounds
- your audition for The Voice
- Adderall
- coconut oil
- capitalism
- Lasagna for lunch?
- Just like my mom
- Yummers
- pugs
- got
- any gum
- psychic powers
- secret family
- part-time party animal
- cry
- Fortnite
- watch YouTube
- money
- grandpa
- a rival gang of spiders
- cat food
- Doritos
- mouth flavor
- bills smaller than a 20
- great knock-knock jokes
- face
- candy bars
- self-esteem
- dates with celebrities
- murder you
- ride a dog to the store, buy a fish
- identity theft
- cooked baby carrots
- a dead body
- great care and effort
- your love life
- getting into heaven - just relax!!
- Jimmy Buffett tickets
- make a nest for endangered eagles
- whip it back and forth (dancing)
- just braid it and make it cute
- "somebody else does"
- "Sure" *shrugs shoulders*
- "Ask again later"
- The Swamp Boys
- The Boys
- The Beatles
- Little Donny Smith
- Horses
- Bake Sales
- deep freezing
- life on Antarctica
- nobody likes you
- the Taco Bell dog
- Barack Obama
- Guy Fieri
- watch repair
- calligraphy
- dry cleaning
- cow farts
- raw charisma
- laundry detergent pods
- say "thank you for the water"
- in show business
- enjoy hanging out with you
- scary goopy
- living booger
- plastic bag full of poison Jell-O
- the person you're writing about
- your old babysitter
- your younger brother
- Mom
- Mama
Long story short, Susan still does my Mom's manicures, but it's... it's uhh... it's awkward, it's very awkward. Did I say this was a funny story?
- your mom
- one million spiders
- student debt
- Hump Night
- Deserted
- Hump it up
- the metric system
- Volkswagens
- spray can cheese
- my future
- a computer virus she repeatedly downloads
- Corn-Saturn
- Cobland
- Renaissance fairs
- chocolate factories
- jellies, jams, and crying
- Knitting/Yarn
- Moo-ve out of my way, Janet!
- Let's order Domino's
- Let's go us-tipping!
- quicksand
- timeshares
- laundry pods
- ditchdigger
- robot assistant
- oxygen deliveryman
- sad shower
- toy snake
- xxxxxxxxxxl belt
- jar of sweet relish
- half-used bar of soap
- ibuprofen
- bread
- having fun
- Old Man
- Idiot
- Evil Doll
- Urinal Cake
- Wet
- Blood
- The Kardashians
- Muppets
- The Simpsons
- When Crime Met Punishment
- Crime, Punishment, and Gardenias
- Giggles and Punishment
- fake news
- consensual actions
- Fortnite
- your leg
- a taco
- a seagull
- The Pleasure Emporium
- Ye Olde Dildo Shoppe
- A Tom Bawl'ins
- Warm flat beer
- The Crying Lucinda
- Synergy
- Corporatize
- you're fired
- infinite puppies
- a butler named 'Happiness'
- a sick Jacuzzi
- Holy
- Carpenter
- Brad
- laugh squares
- dork bibles
- picture friends
- loud n' proud
- horn time
- Chernobyl
- you have kids
- MONDAY AMIRIGHT
- game night is over
- failed actors
- squashed dreams
- teeny tiny oranges
- The Hellcutter
- Mr. Stabs
- Harold Von Fearblade
- home plate
- the garage
- the sticky cave
- stock tips
- the silver screen
- real estate licenses
- The Nighttime Boy
- Sad Flying Man
- No-Parents Man
- the outlet next door
- your dad's house
- some other stuff
- Eating the leftovers
- Correcting people's grammar
- Spoiling the plot of "The Sixth Sense"
- next to a fog machine
- behind a REALLY big tree
- the Mariana Trench
- Only Candy Corn Day
- Ghost-a-palooza
- The European curse
- cheek lint
- attention
- free candy
- anybody with snacks
- a fireworks salesperson
- away from the bats
- a little silly but mostly normal
- underground
- begrudging respect between rivals
- crying
- extended screaming
- where the good nail clippers are
- how to play the piano
- squid droppings
- my childhood teacher's judging eyes
- spilled soup
- a bad bar
- Pizza Hut
- open-heart surgery
- repairing his broken relationships
- smooching
- my high school prom
- Finland
- ugly
- covered in alligators
- My team is bad
- Tim
- losing
- soul
- teeth
- Dick
- Cissel
- Richard
- falling in love
- double dutch
- discussion of socialism
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- your priest
- XXX
- O + MY
- Try walking, loser!
- Warning: lions around the corner
- You could be indoors right now
- scoring more touchdowns
- humming a lil' tune
- Freak Outs
- Swampland Rehabilitation!!
- my father
- my ex
- 24 hour fortune teller
- neighbors
- local school board
- The Smooth Sounds of Stapling
- The Copies You Wanted
- 15 Songs To Tell You I Quit
- fourth-degree sunburn
- Godzilla's on his way
- a seagull insurrection
- Heelys
- the armor of the self-assured
- head-to-toe leather
- severed hand
- cantaloupe
- Honk if you're a fan of honking
- Gosling on board
- credit cart
- gums
- success
- a delicious pie cooling on the window sill
- Whoopsie, I forgot how to read
- Allergic to words
- capitalism
- a teddy bear
- an ice cream sundae
- Two words: reindeer sausage
- Started Santa Prime
- $9.95 to be on Nice List
- Now mostly gas free
- Once you pop, you can't stop
- Got Butt?
- write dirty limericks
- enjoy a good buffet
- Mark Wahlberg
- Books
- blacksmith forge
- Predator
- planet
- a golden crawdad
- some sinking billionaires
- Matt Damon
- to break up with you
- the bargain is complete
- Dinner: The Sequel
- Microwave Friends
- wacky
- not entirely human
- a father
- going to be soon
- an alligator
- the local biker gang
- a Florida man
- I've already gone pro
- I'm allergic to spheres
- Mr. Worthy Butter
- Jack Flap
- vegans
- high-rise apartments
- social media bullying
- I could use a cuddle
- Oh great. Diarrhea again
- Anybody mind if I practice my banjo?
- Nothing. I love it
- Spend a fortune on bikinis
- People keep giving you apartments
- Become a vampire?
- Never stop dancing
- Change your name to "Turbo"
- Didn't I just talk to Congress?
- Wait. Kansas is real?
- Anybody else see Chester A. Arthur's ghost?
- Sorry, sorry
- Shh, shh
- The Fault in Our Stars
- The Encyclopedia Britannica Books A-D
- War and Peace
- Stockbroker
- Spelunky
- lawn gnome
- bottle of soup
- iPad
- that smell is coming from me!
- three words: party boat funeral
- a good brie
- nail clippings
- red paint
- the knee tap
- the skull rub
- the butt press
- the largest ball of twine
- fake news
- Hamilton the musical
- an impossible burger
- a fidget spinner
- selfie stick
- my mom
- the pizza delivery guy
- no more jerks
- for my sports team to win a lot
- one person feel good
- the best use of our time
- water slide, duh
- attentive parents
- beloved character actor Stephen Root
- a bored aunt
- the Ghost of Christmas Past
- The millennials
- CassioWikipedia
- 3rd place
- trying
- That's magic?
- Science!
- It doesn't always work!
- Bob Weather
- Amy Deathstorm
- Tony Hail
- Olaf from Frozen
- Daffy Duck
- WALL-E
- Triposaurus
- Bumbledactyl
- beloved character actors
- an extensive cheese plate
- protective charms
- pogo sticks
- juggling
- Captain Picard
- hair clippings
- yoga instructor haircut
- democracy
- another kid
- perfect replica of you
- Ready for my bikini wax!
- Engine number three failed!
- Welcome to Kansas!
- a family's bathroom
- a wormhole
- a food court
- a spouse
- a sofa
- burn them
- sequins
- fill the pockets with caviar
- Timothée Chalamet
- soft serve in a baseball helmet
- the news
- rubber noses
- hundreds of long footprints
- red face paint
- Great Sphinx of Giza
- the St. Louis Arch
- thick, long bridges
- Not Gonna Crash This One!
- The Sailor's Damnation
- The mule incident
- yesterday
- with a side of meanness
- at Doom temperature
- A feral gila monster
- student loan debt
- the concept of auto maintenance
- too loud
- the angriest beer
- not-paying-attention
- man with heavy guns
- Frank from Accounting
- babysitting your niece
- Barfs-a-Lot
- Galahack
- Toblerone
- shoelace
- intramural ping-pong
- be hot
- kiss
- Sad Bad Clown
- Medical Clown 2
- Audience Camp
- Speak Up!! Camp
- they sell your dishes on the black market
- it's a party in there
- friendship bracelets
- tix to a basketball game you'll sit in silence at
- off-brand Hott Wheelz toys
- corgenweiner
- Great Daneapoo
- weep
- get in accidents
- merrily skip
- human flesh
- various small rocks
- the discography of Carly Rae Jepsen
- The X-Files theme song
- your face with devil horns
- the pet pony they'll never have
- the sun with a frowny face
- give the ants knives
- too many grapes
- behind you
- Cancun for Spring Break
- finding himself
- opinions
- dogs
- cake
- I can swim
- I have a job
- Denial
- The Republic of Chili's Too
- Meatball
- Batmanster
- a Rolex
- a money hug
- cartoon turtle
- hint to a puzzle about Jesus
- Naruto fanfic
- A nice picture of a flower I drew
- tap dance
- run from a bear
- The Cheater
- Mr. Goes Too Far
- I'm spontaneously pregnant
- Whoopsie, fell down an elevator shaft!
- Boo! I'm a ghost!
- "Just vegetables"
- "pictures of skateboards"
- tea
- pajamas
- sports betting
- a dead body
- loose cheese
- your trust in humanity
- 2 Dick 2 Furious
- More Dick
- Oh Whale
- Right Behind You
- Mostly Lust
- Not Fair
- "Honesty", am I right??
- Flibertigibbet
- fork
- Pyramints
- Bubble tape
- Sarcopha-gum
- divorces
- feral pigs
- mullets
- The Moon Is Never Coming Back
- The Moon's Secret Family
- Eat Lead, Moon
- nuts
- cassette tapes
- dreams
- Weird Anime
- Eating Lunch In The Bathroom
- Sad Friends
- gasoline
- tap water
- sawdust
- their medical condition
- smaller, grainier pictures
- the janitor's face
- Give up on your dreams!
- We've got chicken wings
- It's not THAT sad.
- guests
- my lycanthropy
- burnt popcorn
- blend
- impersonate a real oven
- You, the viewer at home.
- Capitalism
- Dunkin Donuts
- VR Arcade
- discount ticket kiosk
- cup holders
- edible lid
- lumbar massage
- do a backflip
- keep going
- shoot lasers from your eyes
- Why don't YOU answer questions once in a while?
- Eat my shorts
- You should leave him
- sausage links
- out of reach dog biscuits
- paintings of cemeteries
- Where I'm taking her poop
- The best trick he can do for internet fame
- the "other" cat
- an audit
- a deduction
- a number
- paternal instinct
- sequel burnout
- salary caps
- these receipts
- gluten-free pasta
- at Domino's Pizza
- a bluebird with a steady job
- a pile of carpenter ants
- a swallow
- Let's try an amusement park AGAIN
- jerky
- petting zoo?
- your son
- Mr. Soapy's Acid Goo Bathtub Cleaner
- hot magma
- infidelity
- the Snuggie
- the internet
- Knife Set
- Cornish Hen
- Comfortable Seated Position
- This was your fault
- Can I borrow your skis?
- Happy Anniversary!
- The Gerrymander
- The Fleece 'n Robb
- Wizard-At-Large
- Definitely a Human Businessman
- Domestic Boss
- Anakin Skywalker
- that turtle you saw at the zoo in 2007
- marshmallows
- The False Advertisers
- The Naked Lady Bears
- Guess I'll give this Twitter a try
- Hi, everybody
- Aren't kittens cute?
- I have bacon
- I'm rich
- I will bring you ice cream
- Slim
- Vic Jr.
- Dracula
- super smell
- laser eyes
- empathy
- Lipstick tubes
- Tiny chainsaws
- Flu shots
- eyeball
- scorpion
- shampoo
- The Neutering
- Hairball Edition
- The War Against Dogs
- My old 3DS
- A daddy... hah! Got 'em!
- Amelia Earhart
- a thumbnail
- a fishing lure
- an entire bag of french fries
- Security camera footage
- Top Gear
- the back of the church bulletin
- puppies
- first-edition Pokemon cards
- sick guitars
- Our hearts
- Arbor Day
- my identity
- Cry
- Ask them to the movies
- Deconstruct capitalism
- that one with the flower that squirted water
- the human need for love
- sticking a basketball under his shirt
- No Horses
- Absolutely hate travel!
- friends say I'm usually stable
- Free chocolate for everyone
- Told the truth, am I right??
- Wore a Naruto headband
- Name tag says "Hi, I'm A Robot"
- Company memos in binary
- Orders motor oil at happy hour
- Frappricorn
- Albert the Alligator
- Beefquarius
- There's my sandwich!
- So THAT'S where the lungs go!
- If he wasn't dead before, he sure is now.
- an empty refrigerator
- the Accountant of Cups
- someone buying a subprime mortgage
- Turtles
- Firm handshakes
- A healthy bowl of cereal
- Fall in love
- Steal a baby's nose
- Securities fraud
- trash
- compression socks
- depression
- Ms Anthrope
- Marcy the Merciless
- Food Poisoning
- Unionize
- Flirt with Mrs. Claus
- Resell toys on the black market
- Bribe Professor Flitwick
- Fight Voldemort, apparently
- Cranberry sauce sucks
- the next-door neighbors are having more fun
- The old dog isn't looking too good
- Law & Order's Up
- Cuffs & Puffs
- grilling some suspects
- the patent office
- undies
- The pizza bagel
- Insane Clown Posse Acoustic Sessions
- Lambilton, a musical essay on the meat industry
- Knives! Knives! Knives! The Musical
- clothes line red rover
- marathon musical chairs
- Joey Meets Other Friends
- The Gang Gets Indicted
- Ross Meets God
- Grimace burgers
- Wendy
- clown makeup allergies
- monster trucks
- roller coasters
- cardiology
- Oh, that's so sweet of you!
- Could you also tell my husband?
- Would you like fries with that?
- I'll fix this later
- I DO love hacky sacks
- lol, I'm so bad ;D
- Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
- Why do people major in theater?
- Is this mole infected?
- the pollen count
- happiness
- a funny-shaped cloud
- a competing real estate agent
- wall-to-wall ant farm
- bathroom with no shower sink or toilet
- Don't fall in love
- Always use grapes for eyeballs
- No kissing
- Emotional vulnerability
- Morning people
- Garlic breath
- a belch
- a breakup
- paint dry
- juggle chainsaws
- buy games on the darkweb
- try to work the dishwasher by themselves
- Failr
- Broken Glass Home Delivery
- Slimeblz
- Donkey Sauce poisoning
- no checkered tablecloths
- hot sauce is too mild
- 30 minutes examining the "idea of a Wolfman"
- They pronounce it "Barthelona"
- The real murderer is "society"
- sad
- going to give up that last slice of pizza
- everyone's best friend
- Team "Unbuilding"
- Falling out of a plane
- Three-Hour Low-Stakes Prison Break
- reviewing other movie review podcasts
- true as well as false crime
- feminist ghost hunters
- stole our baby
- did a better job than us
- blinked with two sets of eyelids
- lost tourist
- airboat
- manatee
- Hershey's Kisses
- Marvel movies
- toilet paper roll 4-packs
- does better than you on your finals
- actually gets people to hang out with it
- finishes a Sudoku for once
- Ample beverage selection
- Lots of Twister buddies
- No pesky "thinking"
- Do improv comedy
- cry a lot
- reply to chain letters
- flies
- porch swinging
- no underwear
- The Needlepoint
- The Spinster
- This Is Where Grandpa Died
- Single and Ready To Mingle
- a red line through the words "love my grandkids"
- a Big Mouth Billy Bass
- a bouquet of wrenches
- a bucket of Bud Light
- have a mental breakdown
- break up with your girlfriend
- call your Grandma at Christmas
- The Beginner's Guide to Bug Dissection
- 101 Things The 6th Sense Got Wrong About Ghosts
- Epic TikToks Made By Dogs
- the oven is still on
- you're a nun
- where you just left your keys
- Breadstick hoarding
- Two words: pasta bath
- Give company secrets to Chili's
- How to make cake in a mug
- International Relations For Dummies
- ...and they were roommates!
- I can't look at my ceramics teacher the same way
- I barfed in an extremely cool way
- Teletubbies theme song
- anything by Anthrax
- Happy Birthday song
- studded stapler
- ride motorcycle into the elevator
- refuse to collate your documents
- Sumerian architecture
- A glass of warm milk
- Brad Pitt's even handsomer brother
- barfing in the toilet
- Cross-dressing
- shy around housekeepers
- Happy Birthday song
- Dead Man's Curve
- eggplant and hammer
- heart and thumb down
- diamond ring and toilet
- No seat on your bike
- New "Nothing But Hills" class
- Everyone gets a cool down but you
- Maybe vacuum?
- Nice pants, loser
- Eating out again?
- cake walk
- pole vaulting contest
- calculus prep course
- The Barracuda
- When Pole Vaulting Goes Wrong
- Botched Everything
- Snack Breaks
- Road Rage
- internet memes
- reverse mortgages
- stretching his legs and getting dressed
- where to grab lunch
- spend more time alone
- keep eating fried food
- move to Nebraska
- benign tumors
- wearing new white shoes in the rain
- get turned down for their dream job
- every dollar helps an orphan
- drive-thru sexy talk
- have a Hulk-out
- use the water fountain
- yell fire!
- say "Someone call for a plumber?"
- Making someone's whole family pee their pants
- 7 Minutes In The Haunted Shack
- Steal grandma's teeth
- never enough bandage supplies
- always mumbling, won't enunciate
- won't say "I love you" back
- shaving... with an axe
- rescuing someone from a burning building
- scuffle with Mufasa
- home surgeries
- The Adventures of Pluto Nash
- calm debate
- It's time for a nap.
- Happy Free Milkshake Day!
- I just got a new puppy
- stare at our hands in contemplation
- play individual organs
- play other exciting Jackbox Games
- I sit on a toilet
- someone bowls a strike
- you beat a boss
- toilet paper
- podcast
- hashtag
- They only drink mineral toilet water
- They only eat organic cat poop
- slippery packaging on merchandise
- online shopping only
- mall moats and drawbridges
- Free Money
- Unlikely Animal Friendships
- Save Magazines
- Grill for Your Life
- Pie or Die
- toll booth worker uniforms
- merkins
- lengths of butterfly nets
- Ignore this person
- nothing, it's purely decorative
- A person who enjoys candy
- how to protect your identity
- enjoying music quietly
- the bug squish hour
- Relay Death Race
- Four Scare
- Three-Legged-Two-Headed Race
- play a game from the Jackbox family of products
- Spin around so fast you pass out
- Definitely NOT drugs
- depression
- a better way to make tater tots
- the idea of birds
- can't connect
- don't like Danish guys
- met a DUPLO block
- Clifford. He knows what he did.
- That dang poodle next door
- Cerberus
- Whipped Peaks
- Sweet 'n Tangy
- Sinfully Delicious
- Advanced Twitter Studies
- Horde Management
- Bachelors In Political Theater
- Kiss the camera
- Butt fumble
- Add a front flip or two
- Brian
- Plumber
- snack boy
- the reason I lost my house
- a fatal design flaw
- why my mom will never kick me out
- becomes part of the co-op board
- squeezes through the mail slot
- crawling through the TV, "The Ring"-style
- Red glowing eyes, duh
- Starts watching Hell's Kitchen
- It runs for Mayor.
- staring at the ceiling
- playing the old hoop 'n stick
- reading!
- 100 Shades of Off-White
- Sexy, Kinda
- Erotica for Nice Moms
- Good luck, you'll need it
- If you have kids, I'll never forgive you
- You may be my ex-wife, but not my ex-friend
- certificates of completion
- cannonball contest medals
- stolen roller derby plaques
- The government controls us through Candy Crush
- 5G making teeth too soft to chew red meat
- Aliens are real, and they're sooooo boring
- You can't even touch the birds
- The dinosaurs don't eat anyone
- It recommends a perfect marinade for penguin meat
- Vandalizing the Night Away
- Eloping in Vegas
- Booze Cruise
- the friendly barista
- the gender neutral influencer
- the nerdy lit major
- The Little Tree
- Signore Landscape
- Bobangelo
- female repellent
- facial acne inducer
- it's only painful the first year
- on second thought, do worry
- how hard can it be to fly a plane?
- Washington's a snob
- Roosevelt won't stop talking!
- my nose itches!
- Blood bubble bath
- Organizing your cursed runes
- An extra human sacrifice, as a treat
- Instead of handshakes, hand-snakes!
- Sign on the lawn says "We're out to get you."
- Thumbtacks in every tire you own
- Too loud
- lol love these little guys
- Strange odor, good service though
- The strange popularity of the Twilight series
- Billboard that says "Look Out! - God"
- The stuff that comes out during a sinus infection
- tell people wads of cash are gauche
- Twitter comments
- "forget" to invite them to kissing parties
- I cheated, big time
- I'm going to buy so many drugs
- I'm so happy, here's my home address
- that's one beautiful colon
- I could spend all day in there
- you have really nice eyes
- Some of us have brown hair!
- What's with all the rainbows?
- We're not all male! Think about it!
- You are finally allowed to die
- Clippy comes for your soul
- You play games from the Jackbox family of products
- Sacrificed to the gods of the open layout
- Ground up for printer toner
- Offering to the Office Mouse Queen
- Charades
- Family Therapy
- Jenga
- Magic this is NOT!
- Stupid piece of rubber doesn't even bounce
- Can't erase memory of my mistakes
- Who do you think you are!?
- Mr. Big Bubble Butt
- you told me to call you Mushmouth, didn't you?
- Hey dingus
- And here's what's left of your dog
- As the owner of the world's largest Shake Shack
- nuclear apocalypse
- skeleton
- rural artist co-op
- Where to adopt acrobats
- How to talk to hot burglars
- Managing your butler/dad
- Bea Arthur
- the cast of Leave It to Beaver
- car dealership owner
- Your death
- The future
- The last half of A Christmas Story
- Back Boys
- Crash
- Miss Fisher's Small, Blurry Mysteries
- espresso maker
- Swedish massage
- trim facial hair into a "Tony Stark"
- Which failed loaf of sourdough are you?
- Which way will YOU topple the government?
- Which Holy Grail map best fits your personality?
- Some good leanin'
- Make-out practice
- Home for squirrel army
- Taste the whole thing
- Explain how you couldn't find a toilet
- Propose marriage to the boat
- very cool flag
- Kevins
- bears
- dating
- giving gentle kisses to
- stabbing
- three-story trust fall
- walking over volcanic lava
- reenacting Rambo III
- a warm thumbs up
- a Marvel movie
- your brain in a mirror
- qwart
- flatulation point
- a doozy
- wearing hockey pads
- ever
- untucked jerseys
- cookie recipe
- grandmother
- mid-life crisis
- bad
- your cookies
- loose change
- the Father of the Bride
- asbestos
- fiberglass
- the sins of men
- Wellness
- Lil' Citrus
- VC Rider
- Everyone
- Prime Minister
- Dog
- talk about how much you love the movie Speed
- aggressive licking
- introduce your ventriloquist's dummy
- Bird exhibit is all pigeons
- Snakes for sale by the dozen
- Penguin exhibit just a showing of "Happy Feet"
- some alone time
- get to change into favorite shorts
- remember the asparagus you had last night
- The boys are lonely
- Not as many fish in the sea
- not much fizz in your... you know
- a lot of British accents
- main character performs act of self sacrifice
- at least three crying scenes
- cheeks unusually puffy
- spending more time in tree house
- keep stealing bird food
- No more podcasts
- Finally get that Firefly reboot
- flying cars. I mean, by then, right?
- I've become my father
- skin is gross
- I wonder how my hotel is doing?
- not moody enough
- they call you Worse Aquaman
- you're very, very evil
- monster truck rallies
- buying other people's affection
- small turtle figurines
- Forget College - Too Expensive
- Let's Face It, We Were Never Friends
- My Grades Were Better Than Yours
- they have name tags
- they ransom you for bitcoin
- they go around a circle and do introductions
- pickpocketing
- identifying anime
- competitive speedwalking
- The CIA
- Law & Order: SV-Poo
- Clue Kids on the Block
- for cash
- The Witcher 2
- the TikTok logo
- Progresso Soup cans
- a bunch of kale
- I lost my keys
- Congratulations on finishing the movie with me
- Watermelon watermelon watermelon
- Parties with his shadow
- Hangs out with the Easter Bunny
- Stays inside
- fancy gel pens
- special-edition plant calendars
- a new Switch for everyone!!
- He knows how to build a fire
- can probably outspend you militarily
- nobody sides with you
- Robin, you're grounded again.
- Master Wayne, you're tracking blood on the carpet
- I don't even mind bats that much.
- New frosted tips
- Carrot in their purse
- Collar smudged with coal
- an empty plate
- my dad napping
- a giant M
- has never seen a dog
- afraid of short books
- Heart and Soul
- Duel Of The Fates
- Barbie Girl
- Big Putter
- Notorious G.O.L.F.
- Daddy Long Drive
- bad Yelp reviews
- irony
- sorry for your loss
- Don't eat, this cake is pois-
- First one to eat me is fired
- Kit Kats
- dusty light fixtures
- the finest juice boxes money can buy
- actually good
- TWO puppies and THREE unicorns
- kitties and Pegasuses
- a job
- two of everything
- a clue
- breaking up with them
- gentle sweeping
- ice cream
- these deals
- adultery
- death by chocolate
- it loves milk chocolate
- You have to fight on your first night
- No cops
- something with minions
- "C+"
- forbidden Disneyland
- solo birthday party
- high-quality fake mustaches
- walk fast
- invest in face removal technology
- terrible split ends
- magnetic skull
- won't stop talking about "the cloud king"
- white bread matters
- make Peoria great again
- read my lips: no new headlines!
- a monastery
- my parents' bedroom
- a cemetery
- not sniffing glue
- winning the lottery
- vegetables for once
- parkour
- online trolling
- eating
- crying
- extreme couponing
- Uses the softest thread
- only makes you wedding dresses
- spends too much time remeasuring you
- water polo
- change sizes on the jeans
- stand around
- improve your confidence
- make your farts irresistible
- tighten your glutes
- Can't make it. Today's our office party.
- I invited all your exes
- I'm not your biological father
- unsupervised babies crossing
- beware of soccer moms
- priceless jewelry ahead
- sweet silence
- on-demand neck massages
- live on-hold music
- bad breath
- wearing too much eyeliner
- flying too close on first date
- missionary is a bad idea
- size actually matters
- it's all in the trunk
- knitting circle moms
- my algebra teacher
- shellfish
- a doll with one eye
- that glowing orb
- the ghost
- tag themselves in crime scene photos
- hangout next to their wanted posters
- leave business cards at the crime scene
- My dog is not listed as the best dog
- Nobody knows how to spell Timothee Chalameet
- meet the families of your victims
- hug a dragon
- John
- FanOfTrend7
- NameNamerson
- jackalope
- president bigfoot
- wax celebrity
- Somebody ate all the frames
- Da Vinci Code nonsense
- masked teenagers
- try to have fun without me
- check please
- it's good to be king
- It's the Lovemeister!
- just a little pitchy, dawg
- I'm with stupid!
- bribing the judges
- singing the Celine Dion discography
- just being cute
- competitive whistling
- theoretical dance
- forgetting house keys
- the Angry Windmill
- the Dying Flower
- the Weed
- Oh, hi! I didn't notice you there.
- You're wondering how I got in this situation.
- How many chickens CAN fit in a car?
- witty retorts
- damp socks
- loose grapes
- tiny dog
- plaid shirt
- gourmet salad
- we're very gassy
- we say "um" all the time
- we're addicted to Instagram
- a cabinet door
- your feelings
- your ears by singing
- Remember the Alamo
- Sex
- Crust and Rust
- my trousers revealed my ankles
- got in a fight about free-range eggs
- I'm so rich I don't need his cash
- "Grandpa" stenciled on her calf
- Calvin and Hobbes sledding into hell
- a nice smiling duck
- can people smell this?
- I love my wife
- I wish I could eat soap
- keep butt dialing
- disappear off the face of the earth for 60 days
- knock on the door at 5am
- Not talking
- 10 cc's of hugs
- Cargo shorts
- Rainbow suspenders
- correcting my grammar
- letting mice live
- knocking over glasses of water
- doesn't own formal wear
- can't find Canada
- a house warming gift
- several dogs
- a bouncy castle
- allergic to knives
- audience's least favorite
- nailed to front door
- under a very large bush
- inside a garden salad
- witness protection rules
- must be that vampire encounter
- always late
- sass
- a jean jacket
- More tacos!
- I don't want to go
- I love you
- Mom?
- Only one of us leaves here alive
- witty observations
- shows about flipping houses
- Hurts resale value
- It's really, really creepy
- maybe it's a parody of a killer doll
- more attractive stethoscopes
- lack of Justin Chambers
- only one was a theater major
- hungry, but not that hungry
- mad at Greg
- getting over a breakup
- "I have unused coupons"
- "You have kind eyes"
- I want it to be attractive but also stinky
- How much hair should I put on it?
- I have to make this "poop" come from somewhere
- how to flirt
- Garfield
- Mrs. Claus
- colonists on Mars
- rising sea levels
- my AI wife
- I'm very much real
- You have to tell me if you're a cop
- plaese escuse the typos
- More fun to find Pokémon
- too busy playing WoW
- they're still in quarantine
- perfect hair
- I wish my boss would come over for dinner
- laugh tracks
- sell some life insurance
- hold back a sneeze
- flub a knock-knock joke
- "I've forgotten your name"
- "You're the tallest doctor I've had thus far"
- I'm calling from your bedroom
- Back Alley Rascals
- Merry Men
- Horze 2 Horze
- It's a me, u up?
- This is a spicy text
- new pipe. who dis?
- lager
- purple
- Cersei Lannister
- I've gone back in time
- you're covered in BBQ sauce
- you're in the middle of an intersection
- deodorant
- pictures of my ex
- a note that says "good riddance"
- a dude holding a "will work for food" sign
- a hottie waiting in line for toilet paper
- a Prohibition sweetheart
- Sorry, I'm new at this
- mouth to mouth? uh no.
- I'm the one who needs saving
- I love your shoes!
- At least let me pay for your Uber
- Wanna get a drink later?
- you own a bakery
- you are an undercover princess
- your lover is a nutcracker
- Procrastination
- Pointless Gestures
- Hoagies
- drinks on me!
- your mother would hate me
- money-back guarantee
- get more than enough sleep
- climb Mt. Everest
- watch every episode of Law & Order
- release it into the wild
- send it to the Smithsonian
- open in case of emergency
- drinks himself into oblivion
- gets started on next year's toys
- private time with Mrs. Claus
- my social security number
- Mom mom mom please I'm sorry
- epic fail
- Even Ogres Can Find Love
- Fiona Never Loved Me, Not Truly
- I Am Shrek: My Sad Story
- the Civil War
- putting his hat on a dog
- These are disgusting!
- Italian poo pillows
- stuffed with goo!
- into the abyss, daughter
- Applebee's
- a theme park in Florida
- Data is seriously hot
- Oh, we all have holodecks
- Deep Space Nine wasn't terrible
- I poop bigger than Mercury
- Get a life, Earth! Pun intended!
- Neptune's in its own orbit
- sock puppets
- replay of old Super Bowl halftime shows
- open mic comedy
- roses are CRIMSON, violets are SAD
- meter, verse, stanza
- yadda yadda yadda
- Did I scare... your butt?
- Booooooooo! I'm a toilet.
- Flush away the ghost!
- TikTok
- Harry Potter fanfic
- being nice to eachother
- Under the See!?!
- It's Wet!
- a stone
- Post Malone
- a car crash
- underwear
- fake fruit
- marriage certificate
- Your tires need new batteries
- We need to redo your trunk shaft
- I have to order parts from a guy in the Amazon
- kill me
- bring me home, daddy
- I can give you powers you've only dreamed of
- crawl inside a shell
- take a bath in a cup of warm milk
- Get Into Heaven
- Become More Powerful Than Your Dad
- Be Hot
- How to Sleep Past Noon
- On Farting
- Losing Keys: A Way of Life
- Amish walnut bowls
- the world's largest ball of used soap
- a heavy petting zoo
- Next week: Layoffs
- your home address
- How to Synergize
- I married the wrong man
- Life is meaningless
- we looked younger 10 years ago
- Deep Sea, Deeper Love, Deepest Lust
- Fish For My Sweetheart
- Hooked on You
- eat bad fast food
- breed giant rabbits
- have fun
- no nudes
- "this is your mom"
- dripping
- part cow
- intoxicated
- in case of oopsies
- in exchange for your soul
- no need for lawyers here
- puce
- three-week-old bruise
- chicken nugget brown
- Bruce Springsteen cover bands
- Rats from New York
- A sandwich called "The Hubcap"
- The Prurient Picayune
- The Tasty Times
- The Miami Herald
- by chocolate
- Drowned, but in a cute bikini
- Hit by a fully loaded SUV
- models drive tractors
- fill a cowboy hat with glitter
- cornfield runways
- people get nicer
- water tastes better
- polar bears come live with us and get jobs
- a hat for a horse
- fill it with vanilla pudding
- a bath toy
- dripping nose
- Slimer figurine
- film critic
- double trumpet
- tu-bass
- singing at drums
- skin implants
- brain to brain texting
- halfway decent coverage
- We don't know who did it
- It was all a dream
- Oops.
- Chanel No. 31
- Eau de Bidet
- Stained Linen
- The Holding Hands
- Triple Double Backflip Nova
- Renegade II - The Renegadening
- Slime Time Drive
- Good Morning with Kathy and the Hog
- Wake Up With Styx
- mustache jealousy
- lost combs
- a vibrant personality
- a mushroom kingdom
- pods of lizards
- I H 8 U
- U R G A R B A G E
- NICE EYES LOSER
- world's largest introvert
- doesn't like "monster" nickname
- algebra
- a boat for the land
- chopsticks the size of toothpicks
- sick!!
- time to make banana bread
- your mom
- warriors
- baby name
- court rulings
- YouTube stardom
- a triple-decker yacht
- buy a Christmas goose for a poor family
- Don't Disturb Daddy's REM Cycle
- Look-At-Stick
- Tumbleweed Races
- Phonics are radical, dude!
- What's up, teen-agers?
- I downloaded Snapchat!
- juice breaks
- 3 doctors per fighter
- not in ship shape
- buried with their parrot
- Spicy Jesus
- Goofy and his dog Pluto
- roll her in a barrel into the river
- make her a cake with gunpowder and beans
- get back on a horse, literally
- Taming of the Spreadsheets
- Twelfth Night of Auditing
- Slow-Roasted Carl
- blood sausage
- Werther's Original
- Grandchildren-Visiting-Grape
- bubblegum, but the old kind of bubblegum
- Mr. Silly Leaf
- Cousin Larry's medicine
- The Big Scooby-Doo
- We hate Steven
- Not Silly For Work
- unlimited rabbits
- free trunk to sleep in
- Las Vegas vacations
- unconditional love
- ingrown toenails
- bear attacks
- cleaning the ghoul-ters
- patching the hole in this dimension
- two pizzas
- pair of movie tickets
- Medical Malpractice Today
- What's a Leg?
- did you buy that at a thrift store?
- you look older
- Kenneth's Half Baked Ideas About Socialism
- My Little Pony fan fiction from 2003
- None
- Napoleon in the buff
- Cleopatra without makeup
- Mozart getting drunk
- no more hugs
- immediate bee sting
- nothing. I litter all the time!
- KindaLast
- Open Homes
- Rock Key
- Daniel Notaspy
- Henry B. Nicetome
- their pride
- restraining order
- long arms
- crush on Animal from the Muppets
- The Secret Lives of Cartographers
- Apartment Friends
- Infected Piercings - Season Two
- A new canary for your coal mine
- A portable phonograph
- A penicillin-of-the-month membership
- All the bats you can eat
- Weekly archaeologist visits
- Save a fortune on sunscreen
- clowns
- very loud explosions
- White Green
- Not What You Pink It Is
- the crested three-piece meal
- the blue yum yum
- You're my only goal tonight
- Are you into ice?
- you can body check me anytime
- The GOOD Taco Bell
- The secret pyramids
- a guy trying to give his opinion
- toasters
- ran out of quarters
- can't recapture '80s magic
- human dodgeball
- sleeping upside down
- blindfolded space walk
- Cross stitches "You're No Good"
- Keeps calling you "My only regret"
- Her apple pie is ticking
- hot milk
- Mountain Dew Baja Blast
- emotions
- prominent Dutch hills
- your own death
- how sad whales are
- say "hey soulmate"
- smell like your mom and your dad combined
- make you feel like a cat fell asleep on your lap
- X-treme Rules Roulette
- Blackjack II: Dealer's Choice
- da Vinci in a thong
- a blacksmith and his anvil
- a dude with a longbow
- read Proust!
- do the NY Times crossword
- lecture on Marx
- 360 backflip over their heart
- Apology poem on front lawn, on fire
- your memes
- a second family
- close-up nostril pics
- fight with a vacuum cleaner
- a successful science experiment
- they call you mom
- the snoring
- they are eating a party sub
- everyone throws straw
- people yell "Not in Kansas?"
- audience screams "coward!"
- their kisses are super scratchy
- they're always carrying that pole around
- there are no crows in your bedroom
- steel plant lovers
- new jersey is my wife
- a metaphor for america
- indoor fireworks
- talking dog
- being bought out by Amazon
- Santa's new coat made of reindeer fur
- "I have a cold!"
- "Enough about me. How are you?"
- leave the house
- put a sign on your pants
- pretend to not know them
- Can you hear me now?
- Just text me.
- That's Not The Priest, It's Me Mum!
- Two Dogs and A Soggy Mistress
- Hartforshire-On-Green: The Early Years
- Denver
- The Town Near the Spring But Not Too Close
- "Leave your brain at the door"
- "Too many characters"
- CSI: (1000 Feet Above) Miami
- Law & Order: Aerial Intent
- Pelotons for all students
- a rousing game of checkers
- Gap Octogenarians
- The Sword and Glass-Blown Dragon Statue Emporium
- Jackbox Games
- hobbyist podcasts
- do a complete makeover
- ride a bicycle
- take a quick nap
- This one's for Kappa Kappa Delta! MA BOYSSS!
- For Joseph Stalin, who really cared
- Spilled Cups of Water: A Meditation
- Le Chat Ennui
- nails on a chalkboard
- an acid metal frontman
- a rabid dog
- That's juuust right.
- Shh, I'm squatting in someone else's house.
- Will you be my cosign?
- Our love is no theorem.
- I think you're acute
- "The Tensile Strength of Charlotte's Web"
- "How Many Books Can I Eat?"
- Me! Me me me!
- My BFF
- All rivers now nacho cheese
- All Alien Abduction Stories Proven True
- Skinny Mirrors Are the Most Accurate
- Ant-Man vs. Batman
- The Fantastic Four Meets Jesus
- You don't have to forward everything
- Instagram isn't real
- everyone's info
- how to smile
- money burning vids
- insult our most beloved celebrities
- recognize irony
- conformity has its merits
- can I get that recipe?
- my favorite tweed suit
- Benedict Cumberbatch will steal your dates
- he always knows who ate the salsa
- secondhand pipe smoke
- metaphors
- anti-wolf repellent
- a concrete structure with nice insulation
- the Pope is Irish
- someone's making a veggie stew
- the Vatican's pipes are clogged
- crying
- being eaten by a tiger
- giving a thumbs up
- tiger eating dog eating rabbit eating bug
- open heart surgery
- a completely white square
- human reassembly line
- a vet office but for people
- hospital safe place
- A Tale of Two Kitties
- The Scarlet Text Message
- Septum Piercings In The Spring: A Memoir
- Ski Mangler Pass
- Spleen Buster Mountain
- Avalanche Chute
- eat very crunchy chips
- practice making balloon animals
- keep saying "just cut the blue wire"
- "Most beliefs are wrong"
- "Watch me ignore a dog who wants pets"
- Michael Jordan was average
- good real estate deal
- It's a pig house!
- sleeping quarters after tense board game night
- watching Lethal Weapon
- falling in love
- "So how bout this weather, huh?"
- ape revolution
- need more Soylent Green
- tracking dog poop
- best places to buy slime
- Ever been to Eden? I have.
- I'm weeding out the terrible dates
- I promise I'm a perennial
- "Why do I waste so much time on Twitter?"
- "U up?"
- "Why are hashtags on landline phones?"
- crushed by famous fat cat Garfield
- clown car disaster
- pratfall off cliff
- The Colonel can't season a plane
- Planes don't perform live birth
- birds aren't printed with Boeing logos
- The songs of Adele
- box office numbers
- seascapes sound machine
- "The moon sucks"
- "I'm not going back to Earth"
- "It's not as red as I expected"
- Golden calf every time, bro!
- Zeus with a pinch of Pan for flair
- cell phones, am I right
- a jacked wizard
- a "Free Tuition" sign
- a German chocolate cake
- They're 24 years old
- Has a pullstring in the back
- They can levitate
- say "I don't have diarrhea"
- get constipated
- deep power squats
- My school didn't have love classes
- I'll be better once we achieve world peace
- I'm not lousy, just ahead of my time
- War hard play hard
- Remember to have fun!
- Don't die
- a baby's laughter
- fart noises
- timely observational comedy
- unaware of the concept of shame
- a real short fuse
- a REAL housewife
- When a lifeguard is saving you
- During open heart surgery
- While giving birth
- Elections determined by mud wrestling
- Taco Tuesday enshrined in law
- Supreme Court must issue verdicts in song
- ya know, you're alright
- I love... texting you
- OMG, you're so funny
- you didn't see anything!!!
- what? I meant to do that.
- hey, look at this ant!
- It's loose!!!
- It's only been down there for an hour, it's fine
- What is this bur-ger you speak of?
- being super cool
- eating a pint of ice cream
- absolutely crushing it
- the Ark of the Covenant
- egg whites
- all sorts of "special" eggs
- info@ihavehairplugs.biz
- please@givemeajob.com
- spot@emailsfordogs.woof
- the McRib isn't back yet
- pro-fish propaganda
- too short to ride roller coasters
- extreme pumpkin carving
- synchronized apple picking
- head-to-head leaf blowing
Due to the way responses in the final round work, trigger words and safety quips are absent.
- scented oils|a non-disclosure agreement|disgraced politician
- a secret entrance|ornate masks|sense of whimsy
- a teddy bear costume|a tub of Skittles|a Jonas Brother
- find a safe place|help strangers|learn humanity is real monster
- hunker down|play video games|hope this all blows over
- dress like sexy zombie|get zombie's attention|hit with cartoon mallet
- money|money|money
- true love|a puppy|TikTok videos
- a monkey|monkey on roller skates|farting monkey on skates
- sexy pimple|sexy earthworm|sexy earwax
- sexy lobster|sexy constipation|sexy spoiled milk
- sexy cyst|sexy ingrown toenail|sexy pink eye
- bite your ears|scratch your eyes|ruin your credit
- chew your internet cable|chew your electricity cable|poop in your pillow
- throw acorns at you|throw garbage at you|throw insults at you
- cake eating|ice cream eating|ice cream cake eating
- gambling|mountain climbing|yelling at video games
- blaming yourself|realizing you are to blame|destroying evidence
- but is this your card?|No really. Look|I'll be here all week
- knock knock|interrupting cow|mooo!
- you like Frasier?|I think you'd like Frasier|Sending in DVDs of Frasier
- sit up|roll over|solve crimes
- fetch a stick|fetch a ball|stop trying 2 make fetch happen
- sit|stay|manage my retirement fund
- think about redesigning birds|stop that asteroid|chill in the afternoon
- get some coffee|check social media|go back to bed
- mow the lawn|take surf lessons|meet the gang for tacos
- relish|ranch|red tomato paste
- rich flavor|rushed service|random hugs
- reheat the fries|refill the ball pit|reuse the grease
- don't hate|be cool|wash hands
- no more clothes|no more money|lots more chicken nuggets
- Taco Tuesday is holy|thou shalt not be creepy|thou shalt brag about marathons
- meet in public place|make eye contact|disappear in smoke bomb
- be honest|not that honest|just say you're moving
- tell them it's you|not them|but it could be them
- kicking butt|taking names|adopting young wards
- working out|solving crime|struggling with latex
- brooding|scowling|repeat
- super buttery nipple|the nude lady|the "I Want Sex" and Tonic
- butts and soda|boobs-ahol|harvey wallbanger part II
- sex and soda|erotic beer|the wienertini
- stop|drop|get up and run
- hide in a cave|realize it's HIS cave|find new cave
- dress as sexy bear|marry bear|escape on 15th anniversary
- I|remember|everything
- bring|me|ham
- You'll|all|pay
- croutons|shaved carrots|black olives
- hot fidge|churries|spronkles
- motor oil|spark plugs|a functional hemi engine
- lip smacking|knuckle cracking|finger licking
- humming|humming loudly|humming loudly while operating
- spitting|nose picking|playing banjo
- read books|ask experts|eat a light breakfast
- greet horse|apologize|snip
- put on gloves|shave area|ask yourself how you got here
- nightmares about Bowser|rash from shooting fireballs|bad credit
- constantly itchy mustache|all that jumping bad for knees|can't focus on plumbing
- remembers every time he dies|not using his podiatry degree|can't start singing career
- Crosby|Stills|Nash
- Big Dog|Cool Cat|Mean Rabbit
- Ham Bone|Silly String|Petunia
- Bugs|Snakes|Life
- Blood|Guts|Improv
- Stab|Shriek|Marriage
- Murder Land|Punching Park|Broken Glass Garden
- Jurassic World|Jurassic Universe|Jurassic Reality
- Lava Land|Lightningville|Car Crash Canyon
- beer|politeness|Torontos
- moose|caribou|deer, in general
- fir trees|Ryan Reynolds|that's it?
- bring back dinosaurs|but real small|i mean pocket-sized
- eliminate disease|eliminate hunger|but then buy a roller coaster
- put brain in robot body|conquer world|realize I was happy before:(
- No shirt|no shoes|no service
- lather|rinse|repeat
- have good idea|market it|steal better idea
- Hydration|Perspiration|wiping down bench for once
- High reps|low weight|tons of energy bars
- blasting the pecs|blasting the quads|a good chiropractor
- Mineral water|white noise machines|spooning
- rooftop views|stock assessments|hunting most dangerous game
- tax cuts|continental money laundering|free "one percenter" tattoo
- money|money|more money
- time|passion|the last name "Attorney"
- thumbs|suspenders|thick, texas accent
- Knuckles|Punchy|Mean Tweets
- Max the Axe|Henry the Hammer|Lil' Stinker
- Crusher|Grinder|Soft Jazzer
- slide to the middle|jump 20 times|back flip
- shimmy|shake|Macarena
- lay down|snooze|wake up in distant future
- The|Pep|Boys
- Sonic|Dr. Eggman|Shirtless Mario
- Godzilla|Mecha-Godzilla|Elmo
- Mr. Puppy|Spanish Flu|cumulonimbus
- Gerald|Stinky|Rabies
- Grapefruit|Cumulonimbus|Ol' Fungus Foot
- light candles|pour tea|bury your rage
- inhale|exhale|expel
- stand up|breathe deep|leave the buffet
- Jesus|Jesus' friend|Jesus' mom
- God|is technically|three guys
- Doc|Biff|Marty
- Spot|Rex|Rabbit
- Powerdrive|Lightning|Mr. Happy
- Ruff Ruff|Sparky|Sir Barks-A-Lot
- reading|writing|arithmetic
- books|movies|your parents
- cargo shorts|boat shoes|carrying a "cool card"
- bananas|polar bears|internet comments, hopefully
- elephants|rhinos|but T-Rex's are coming back
- pollution|anxiety|The Paw Patrol
- forks|good wishes|their poetry
- someone else's kids|stomach flu|a timeshare opportunity
- non-alcoholic wine|non-alcoholic beer|non-alcoholic Jagermeister
- eggs|milk|local government officials
- two planes|a dozen bombs|Ben & Jerry's ice cream
- camera|horse|no shirt
- a review|your... you know|your phone number
- Christmas presents|Birthday presents|unless they never look there
- stray hairs|stray fingernails|stray teeth
- knee blaster|the sweat maker|leg jellier
- mountain lifts|the strainsies|the near death experiences
- the credit card charger|the merch push|the friend shamer
- love|laughter|rising oceans
- kids|travel|probably a meteor
- World War 3|Climate Change|mechanical werewolves
- nice|so nice|too nice, honestly
- smart|very smart|too smart for flattery
- bank|robbery|seriously, look it up
- calculus teacher | data entry specialist | liverwurst tester
- Satan's masseuse | Satan's bathroom attendant | devil's advocate
- Twitter reader|bathroom licker|skunk sniffer
- late night diner orders|greasy eggs|heartburn
- vampires head back to crypts|werewolves start changing back|mummies just do their thing
- the streets quiet down|businesses close|the rats paaaaaartaaaay
- hates karaoke|eats unsalted peanuts|hates penguins
- licks their fingers|licks their mouth|licks anything. ewww
- hangs out the passenger side|of his best friend's ride|trying to holler at me
- preheat oven|mix dough|stir in old dental floss
- mix in yeast|mix in uranium|JK that's dangerous
- buy ingredients|mix thoroughly|pour directly in toilet
- a book about werewolves|a treasure map|a seventh bottle of wine!
- an alien abduction|an emergency appendectomy|nacho buffet
- audiobooks only|or TV shows|or just cancelling it
- kittens|puppies|the kitten puppy jamboree
- a baby's laugh|a romantic slow dance|i'm so lonely
- a romantic comedy|a romantic drama|a romantic horror film
- a sense of humor|a great smile|some slamming haiku
- banana bread recipes|sourdough recipes|no, people are sick of those
- a shoulder to cry on|a shoulder to lean on|I only have two shoulders
- download TikTok|become 20 years younger|do stuff
- find a song|dance|repeat
- see what people are doing|do that|but louder
- singles in my area|singles outside my area|will a cat make me happy?
- are UFOs real|is Bigfoot real|am I real
- how to juggle|how to juggle chainsaws|emergency rooms near me
- cheese|wine|some sort of cheese wine
- old friends|old jokes|wait, no they don't
- kittens|puppies|whatever baby swans are called
- oranges|cucumbers|rusty nails
- carbonate it|shake it|drown a town with it
- drink it on roller coaster|put a fish in it|drop a bottle rocket in it
- war|crime|floppy chicken strips
- people|places|things
- reality shows|reality stars|reality
- no double bouncing|socks on|you break it you buy it
- don't break anything|no suing|have fun
- no jumping with food|no jumping with drinks|no jumping with full bladder
- drinks|pals|a doctor on speed dial
- cigars|champagne|fluids
- cheap wine|a small bear|a strong survival instinct
- killerbees|#beeattack|#definitelynotabee
- death|#destruction|#softjazz
- asteroid|#gettingcloser|#bunkersale
- loves to lie|hates citizens|addicted to money
- can't do math|won't read|allergic to science
- sounds annoying|smells bad|tastes delicious
- piracy|ship wrecking|wet murder
- whaling|sharking|catfishing
- stealing lobsters|kidnapping squids|forging tuna
- intense stares|severe smiles|hardcore winks
- write them a poem|sing them a song|build them a ham
- whisper secrets|shout declarations|sing dirty words
- buy a lizard|feed him a lot|now feed him more
- buy cake|throw welcome back party|hope they show up
- tell kids they're not cool|tell them you forbid them|hear dinosaur roar in basement
- messiness|poor manners|finger smelling
- apathy|disinterest|being too cool for school
- bad dresser|clumsiness|kind of a jerk
- Batman|the Lone Ranger|some lady named Sophie
- a mean lady|an unpleasant woman|someone I'm not in love with
- Deadpool|Pikachu|Blake Lively's husband
- I love this branch | could stay here all day | yes, I think I will
- snakes on the ground |need to poop | I can hold it
- what day is it?|Wednesday?|whoops, now it's Thursday
- wife left me | she took the dog | and my Chevy pickup
- whiskey | rain | drinking whiskey in the rain
- truck problems|money problems|boot/hat problems
- get a really cool throne|send enemies into space|free ice cream for all
- outlaw birds|hate the silence|DNA engineer new birds
- make every day Tuesday|name everyone Tony|free Showtime for everybody
- nose ring|bangle bracelets|diving watch
- a sailor hat|a sailor suit|inflatable Popeye arms
- a cat costume|roller skates|I'm With Stupid shirt
- TakeMyWiFi|ManAndWiFi|MyWIFI!!! (in Borat voice)
- Russian_Hackerz|StealinData|PerfectlySafeWiFi
- TheWhiteHouse|Penta_Gone|TreasonRus
- drugs|drug money|Sexy Spongebob
- how to tell if dead?|where to hide body|new identity
- should I crime?|best places to crime|how to do 2nd crime
- rich|pretty|confident
- depressed|angry|a mannequin
- tall|interesting|an influencer
- Kid Pickup|Dish Toss|Power Nap
- Laundry Lunge|Supermarket Sweep|vaulting the patriarchy
- Zoom meeting|De-stress|guilt kids into chores
- tin foil|tuna casserole|Iron Man
- fish|fermented vegetables|stink meat
- old fries|stale burritos|unpoppable-corn
- y'all|go on|horse
- spittoon|g'day|rattler
- stampede!|cattle rustlers|i'm emotionally distant
- Kevin|Klayton|Paul
- Kymberlin|Katie|Kale
- Larry|Curly|Moe
- Blouse Corral|Pants Field|Skirt Silo
- The Frill World|Pleat Street|The Skirt Locker
- Gown Town|The Garmentarium|Attire Fire
- You up?|Miss You|I'm Dead
- Bees here|Bees everywhere|Lost bees
- Love you|Wait, sorry|Like you
- I'm king of the world|Yippie-Ki-Yay|I'm pregnant
- I'm free|I love you|I lost my contact
- Sarah!|The truth is out there|Riiiiiiicola!
- skinny|relaxed|boyfriend
- small|stiff|stone-washed
- boot cut|high-wasted|worn-out
- regret|spent uranium|cilantro
- dead bugs|live bugs|unless you like it
- gummy bears|gummy worms|just avoid "gummy" altogether
- yelling "poopie"|taking rocks home|filling it in with cement
- calling it "The Great Canyon"|telling kids Santa lives here|throwing pennies in
- calling your burro "a donkey"|acting unimpressed|acting like you don't see it
- eat less meat|use less gas|give up after a couple of days
- plant more trees|let them grow|see if they have ideas
- have a big concert|raise a lot of money|buy a new planet
- Twitter fights|hard seltzer|the robot uprising
- Earth getting ruined|settling Mars|Mars getting ruined
- the end of baseball|the end of hockey|the emergence of hockball
- Eat the Bugs!|Wrestle Drew Carey For A TV|Spay or Neuter?
- Skin Tag Scramble|Toilet Trials|Lick the Wheel
- Four Hour Plinko|Snake Catch|Bench Press For $$$
- squeeze|flarp|toodles
- howdy|bonjour|decorum
- stinky|boogers|Belgium
- garbage vision|sonic farts|partial invisibility
- mom telekinesis|light floating|cilantro sensitivity
- super strong toes|ability to talk to moss|super fast coupon clipper
- drugs|alcohol|happiness
- how they met|how you were conceived|how much the car cost
- their trip to New Mexico|the UFO|where you came from
- a nice smile|a good attitude|a large inheritance
- a sense of humor|a gentle heart|a willingness to bury evidence
- a love of art|a love of my art|a love of my clown art
- long naps|puppy photos|no judgment
- cheap beer|cheap meat|cheap cardiologists
- a magic amulet|a sassy, talking zebra|a nose for adventure
- the holy grail|no wait, that's the holy grail|I chose poorly
- One million dollars|A dinosaur egg|The respect of my father
- A giant diamond|A formula for endless energy|the perfect slice of pizza
- a watch|keys|nuclear codes
- a handkerchief|ten dollars|country's to-do list
- a cough drop|seven nickels|keys to the White House
- anger|sadness|a combo of 1 and 2
- hungry|thirsty|gassy
- angry|apologetic|ready to get angry again
- sports|taxes|slight changes to superheros
- a Twitter fight|the government|the similarity of #1 and #2
- cold weather|hot weather|only have weather to talk about
- roses are red|violets are blue|close your mouth when you chew
- fire is hot|water is wet|these will be debated soon
- nobody|agrees|anymore
- Never again!|This was a mistake!|I'm referring to my marriage!
- Stupid gravity!|I hate air!|Birds are overrated
- Come Fly with Me|Free Bird|All the Single Ladies
- pantsless pants|shirtless shirts|skorts
- combustible hats|meat scarves|cargo shorts
- belly button bowties|nose socks|extra sleeves
- good|great|love it
- Daniel|Day|Lewis
- hmmmm|ok|sure
- tissues|hankies|an imaginary friend
- a new phone|a phone stand|a promise to call
- a cactus|a cat|a mannequin to talk to
- cotton candy|gum|good wishes
- hay|sticks|staples
- love|hate|asbestos
- Regular Flakes|No Pops|Unlucky Charms
- Fiber Plus|Bran-tastic|Too Many Oats
- Milk Friends|Bowl Pals|Spoon Chums
- Waiting in supermarket line|Stepdad's house|DUI test
- In a crowded elevator|In a bully's headlock|In a non-smoking zoo
- At the end of a bad movie|In an expensive restaurant|While getting married
- The Rocket|The Hammer|The Overcompensater
- The Jewel|The Diamond|The Super Camaro
- The Good Car|The Better Car|The Best Car
- crown|throne|perfectly good sweater
- rugs|silverware|Scotland
- motorcycle|ripped jeans|DJ turntables
- get coffee|clean helmet|crush the rebellion
- dry clean cape|pick up donuts|oil mechanical parts
- wash his spaceship|schedule appointments|repair relationship with kids
- The Face Planter|The Knee Exploder|The Sudden Death
- The Tooth Loosener|The Concrete Meeter|The Bone Buster
- The Hurt Locker|The Time Traveler|The Cute Kitten
- Single people|People in relationships|Guys that own a tarantula
- Non-conspiracy theorists|Conspiracy theorists|Lizard people
- winners|losers|werewolves?
- Find your sharpest steak knife|Down a bottle of whiskey|Mutter "here goes nothing"
- Poke around in your guts|Yank out your appendix|Realize that was your spleen
- Read book|Chicken out|Hope it all works out
- hot dogs|the Sphinx|a sad turtle
- fruit|vegetables|a map of Middle Earth
- big butts|little butts|any butt, really
- being happy|being sad|crying at random commercials
- constantly being late|making up lame excuses|wondering why you got fired
- driving in rush hour traffic|getting mad at another driver|letting that ruin your day
- Beer cans|deer head|ten Reservoir Dogs posters
- road signs|jerseys|loose protein powder
- a weight bench|Y chromosomes|repressed emotions
- cool cows|big hats|chasing clowns
- popcorn|peanuts|meat of unknown origin
- the smell of fried food|the smell of manure|the smell of belt buckles
- sea shells|painting of a boat|skull of a drowned sailor
- toilet|toilet paper|but single ply!
- potpourri|potpourri soap|potpourri toothpaste
- chocolate|grape juice|catching on fire
- ink|paint|probably uranium
- drying on high|bleach|creating it in Tee K.O.
- nice erasers|a snap bracelet|the US Presidency
- the stuffed tiger|the SpongBbob T-Shirt|a million finger puppets
- a sports car|a three bedroom condo|an appendectomy
- drink booze|eat cheeseburgers|subscribe to Netflix
- take wide turns|start late|bet on the other horses
- get cocky|smack talk|believe its own hype
- three piece suit|ball gown|rented tuxedo
- just jeans|just a shirt|just socks
- cowboy hat|pirate hat|beret
- don't know|never seen them|I swear
- boom mic|camera reflection|camera man's thumb
- fake dorm room|fake classroom|fake graduation ceremony
- a beer fridge | reclining lounge chair | Nintendo Switch
- a turtle|a snail|maybe a unicorn
- a squirrel|a bat|the world's first bat-squirrel
- bacon|meat|bacon-wrapped meat
- a sports hat|a sports shirt|sports in a pill
- a #1 dad mug|a #1 dad tie|a place to cry
- butt blocks|no goes|hard times
- anti-diarrhea|log jams|pushies
- ouchers|strainers|eye-bulgers
- Competitive Investing|Dressage|Art Acquisition
- Jewel Cleaning|Money Laundering|Baseball Team Ownership
- Butler Berating|Stock Market Watch Party|Pampering 101
- Tall fence|angry looks|late night bagpipe practice
- dog poop on yard|dog poop on steps|dog poop in mailbox
- moves away|but still drives by|and says "you stink"
- heart races|breathing quickens|all hair falls out
- sweaty palms|knees shake|can't stop screaming
- pulse quickens|hands numb|this is a heart attack
- nipple clamps|butt clamps|eyeball clamps
- rousing game of Stratego|getting kicked in the crotch|meth
- horse steroids|shark blood|a good breakfast
- jump|run|fake injuries
- clear eyes|full heart|we lost sometimes
- math|science|our school was underfunded
- eat right|get 8 hours of sleep|dumb answers win
- wash your face|brush your teeth|hide the money in the yard
- Callbacks|always|win
- Too|many|chips
- Sad|Angry|Hungry
- A|bit|gassy
- sunscreen|mint chewing gum|zero dignity
- sunglasses|hard candy|a theme park map
- lotion|more lotion|even. more. lotion.
- goes to church|has a truck|loves his mama
- tall|dark|handserm
- must love dogs|must love hogs|must wear clogs
- I|love|cheese
- I'm|coming|Abe Lincoln
- ew|gross|no
- sinning|every|day
- stole chapstick|stole a pen|murder
- parking tickets|speeding tickets|caused climate change
- ride a rollercoaster|have a baby|eat soft cheese
- kill my enemy|dance on his grave|forgive myself
- find cash|buy lottery ticket|get real close to winning
- wallet|phone|gum
- flames|coal|cell phone
- souls|sins|dirty mags
- a giant duck|that knows my name|and is my dad?
- a mannequin|a talking chainsaw|a unicorn with my face
- a werewolf|a Frankenstein|a chorus line of Draculas
- warm milk|soothing music|five seconds of public radio
- a warm bed|a fluffy pillow|a cartoon knock on the head
- a hypnotist|a car ride|a 12 part WWII doc
- someone pointing|a gigantic bird|hungry baby birds
- an angel|Elvis|God and He's mad
- your childhood|your adulthood|the people you disappointed
- heavy lifting|a punch in the gut|a cheap bike seat
- a pig impression|swallowing a quarter|passing that quarter
- bad gas|good gas|someone else's gas
- pushy|uptight|clingy
- hard working|old fashioned|well-meaning
- loosey-goosey|ill-tempered|large
- intense|nightmarish|tiger-filled
- tent-loving|peanut-scented|overpriced
- archaic|cruel|organ-filled
- you don't know me|please don't hit me|did you pee?
- where are your shoes?|why are you crying|we're leaving the zoo
- stop kicking|free bird!|I love you
- surgery footage|a car wreck|those Chipmunk movies
- a cow giving birth|colonoscopy footage|Batman vs Superman
- a subway rat|a hundred subway rats|subway rats in a trenchcoat
- bird poop|a lizard|a pimple growing
- a hawk|a bee sting|probably a ghost
- a ghost hand|an angry wasp|hot breath
- rings|earrings|ring worms
- shoes|hats|hand puppets
- liquids|gels|anything in between
- Flex aggressively|Scream for no reason|Wear a horn helmet
- Crush soda cans on your head|Get some cool scars|tattoo that says "Very Tough"
- Ride a motorcycle|Ride a bear|Ride a bear on a motorcycle
- Panic|Run around the woods screaming|Cry like a baby
- Find a pack of wolves|Defeat the alpha wolf|You are the wolf king now
- Start a fire|Boil water|Open small coffee shop
- peepoo|dad's dad|the oldster
- grampgramp|pawpamp|mega dad
- silly man|candy giver|gray skull
- bumper|caboose|ham sandwich
- rear end|back end|tragic ending
- beauty|perfection|the holy grail
- unlimited pizza|unlimited chicken wings|unlimited antacid
- football pre-game shows|football|football post-game shows
- nothing|but|ice cream
- bird attack|alien invasion|return of Gangnam Style
- goose storms|cheese lightning|global humming
- toot disease|intelligent hamsters|pudding rain
- socks|a hat|boxer briefs
- false teeth|a false chin|a false head
- a laptop|a family sedan|memory foam mattress
- a clown|a hatchet|an abandoned hotel
- gym class|a ceiling rope|hundreds of people waiting
- an ostrich|my stepdad|a get-rich-quick scheme
- blast off|bingo|wowza
- jackpot|the bounce house|prime time
- touchdown|home run|hat trick?
- you hate kids|you hate dogs|you like smooth jazz
- holy water stings|crosses sting|brimstone is fine though
- you levitate|misery gives you strength|you're always on fire
- no powers|no job|wait, that's me
- give him a new costume|like a bat|but like, a rich bat
- has student loans|has a dead end job|loves hard seltzers
- we're allergic to nuts|we're allergic to cheese|we're allergic to each other
- nothing|we're open books|except im an undercover spy
- we're actually bears|in people clothes|roar
- cookie tester|president of napping|money spender
- vice-president of snoozing|mayor of cake town|CEO of cheese
- Video game tester|Exercise avoider|Roller coaster pilot
- Out|Of|Guac
- Pooped|My|Pants
- being outdoors|growing long hair|becoming a sasquatch
- missing spring|missing autumn|not missing winter
- buying telescopes|forgetting abt telescopes|selling telescopes
- no pictures|no fake laughs|no real names
- must participate|must laugh|must be ticklish
- no shirt|no shoes|that's it
- a spoon|a sword|bad attitude
- a weak stomach|a dull knife|hemophilia
- a gun|unless it shoots knives|no that's still illegal
- a tiger|a mullet|a Netflix deal
- a fancy car|a gold chain|lack of humility
- an eagle on my shoulder|an explosion behind me|a permit to do these things
- Whoa!|Total|darkness
- What|to|do?
- Start|this|party!
- pass|the|spleen
- charity|compassion|xenomorph
- shave|me|grandma
- missing pants|human soul|chicken sandwich
- your last sofa | coins hidden in second sofa | sandwich
- a mobster|a dead body|cash to forget what you saw
- cut|copy|paste
- greet the body|slice the body|heal the body
- chug a Red Bull|watch an ER rerun|just feel it
- Facebook|Instagram|invent new ways to disrespect
- put on chill music|be emotionally available|try to have fun
- lock eyes across room|heavily flirt|leave family reunion
- light a bunch of candles|realize it's creepy|just get tipsy and smooch
- have fun|take some time together|avoid any witch's curses
- argue over price of open bar|dance|get Aunt Cindy a ride home
- slice cake|smash into each others' faces|hold grudge for years
- rinse|lather|kill a whale
- rinse|lather|smite your enemies
- rinse|lather|if u value ur life dont repeat
- poison|uranium|oddly enough, toast
- your words|your feelings|but mostly your feelings
- glass|metal|anything "chicken fried"
- the toilet isn't leaking|i'll fix it tomorrow|there isn't sewage everywhere
- i don't like the Golden Girls|i didn't order a gray wig|u don't "have" to call me Sophia
- i look good in bangs|i can trim my own bangs|i love my shaved head
- lying|cheating|combo of lying and cheating
- being born rich|acting like you work hard|that's it
- being good|being honest|realizing that's for suckers
- wake up|figure out where you are|rob the place
- make some coffee|eat some cereal|go back to bed
- struggle with vampire|pull back curtain|reveal sunrise
- regret|anger|stuffed crust pizza
- debt|more debt|get rich quick schemes
- retirement funds|lawn care knowledge|Facebook opinions
- ew|what's that thing?|oh god it bit me
- terrible bones|your blood sucks|worst. organs. ever.
- wait|hold on|wrong room
- keys|wallet|pants
- sword|shield|map to dragon's lair
- phone|hat|sense of direction
- planes|trains|root canals
- racecars|jet planes|chest waxings
- school recitals|haircuts|racehorses
- fire|free tacos|the free tacos are on fire
- I|Pooped|My Pants
- Nobody Panic|It's Okay|But There's a Loose Cobra
- hair falls out|hair grows elsewhere|always saying "huh"
- start talking about lawns|start talking about taxes|discover public radio
- eat more fiber|in bed by 10|suddenly understand escrow
- what's|that|stain
- sadness|depression|taco bell
- I|need|attention
- birth|death|come back as a rhino
- birth|growing/losing hair|death
- pre-high school|high school|missing high school
- bee brains|adventurer's elbow|monster toes
- coal tongue|death poops|evil hair
- wandering ear|excited spleen|haunted stomach
- a bear|a ghost|your past regrets
- a UFO|a vampire|your credit card debt
- a grizzled loner|but he wants to hang out|and talk fantasy baseball
- I can't|I'm not|actually here
- nice person|i don't have specific examples|but I assume so
- playing Quiplash 3|not winning|but didn't give up
- no toaster|no blender|no roof
- no air conditioning|no furniture|p sure it's a gas station
- carpet smells|photographers everywhere|chalk outline still visible
- clip coupons|wake up early|show love through food
- become passive aggressive|even to dogs|and babies
- eat at buffets|yell at the news|eat a lot of bran
- pumpkin|spice|anything
- overhead|bins|full
- heard|my|podcast?
- Chili's|baby back ribs|barbecue sauce
- who|wants|margaritas
- am i dead?|where's the TV remote?|we're outta peanut butter
- puppy videos|instant news|angry uncles
- stock tips|online banking|bankruptcy guidance
- constant news|constant opinions|constant stress
- Doing|Fine|Thanks
- Get|Outta|Here
- Need Tickets To Lolla|Ask Me About My Honor Student|Keep having a good day
- a sausage factory|toe surgery|an ant farm
- a rerun of Matlock|budget debates|forklift accidents
- a staring clown|a ball of leeches|a closeup of dandruff
- smart watch|smart phone|smart people
- sugar|salt|a combination of the two
- my hair|no, seriously|I finally got it how I want
- Quiplash 4|Quiplash 5|Quiplash: The Roller Coaster
- a beach vacation|a margarita|getting sand out of my socks
- the next superhero movie|unless it's dumb|it'll probably be dumb
- bullets all over lawn|constant whacking sounds|makes offers you can't refuse
- constantly paying you off|trash can full of subpoenas|has "Mob Boss" pajamas
- spends fortune in rolled up rugs|always digging holes|wipes brow with $100 bills
- the dishwasher heavy cycle|a missing sock|a very sexy planet
- strawberry milk|chocolate milk|banana milk
- several magic tricks|the theory of smellativity|Mumford and Sons
- friendship|family|a big big ruby
- working organs|good credit|nice in-laws
- self-esteem|good posture|callback jokes
- no more rent|no more small talk|quiet neighbors
- free dirt|hang with ghosts|no more talking to the living
- no|social|media
- butcher|baker|candlestick reseller
- Tom Hanks|Tom Hanks' son|Guy Fieri
- money|some property|UN recognition
- You were born|general congratulations|many wishes
- This is a card|good job|nice desk
- Happy|Birthday|Ron?
- rollercoaster|safety|needed
- Asleep|by|nine
- a power tie|a fedora|brass knuckles
- cool glasses|a big mustache|a cowboy hat
- a bunch of rings|a magic amulet|nice shoes
- more oxygen|more water|more taco trucks
- agriculture|entertainment|a mini Las Vegas
- swimming pools|lazy rivers|any water features, really
- geometry|poetry|calzones
- fat free milk|video chatting|the Grand Canyon?
- electricity|philosophy|drive-thrus
- eat more veggies|but not deep fried|okay, some deep fried
- save your money|save your photos|don't save toenails
- travel more|eat more|write a predictable book
- cool|suave|delusional
- hungry|sleepy|repeat
- happy|beyond|belief
- operate a chainsaw|make balloon animals|brain surgery
- officiate a wedding|teach toddlers|get angrier
- try on underwear|shave your legs|talk to the public
- rough|and|ready
- fixer-upper|teardown|sewage problems
- cigarettes|Red Sox tickets|bad decisions
- Dunkin' Donuts coffee|Dunkin' Donuts donuts|the CEO of Dunkin' Donuts
- hearts|minds|a turtle
- slime|gak|combo slime-gak
- a $10 bill|a $100 bill|honestly, just a living wage
- lose weight|eat healthy|teach a dog to juggle
- learn nine languages|write an opera|get more sleep
- read a novel|write a novel|eat a novel
- Chicken Cubes|1,000 Pounder|Large drink of ketchup
- Fried iceberg lettuce|bag of stale buns|Sushi
- ribeye steak|baked potato|a glass of scotch
- sloppy|messy|unsanitary
- sensual|erotic|beefy
- a little dry|full of tongue|open-faced
- we stink|we drink|we like dogs
- we're trying our best|our best isn't good enough|we're doomed
- we live|we love|we're mean on Twitter
- intelligence|charisma|good looks
- my mother|my father|my dastardly son Guavus
- money|connections|all those crimes I did
- free food|free jewelry|access to cannons
- salt air|salt water|salt, in general
- free parrot|free cannonballs|occasional curses
- Thunder Keg|Blast Zone|Cinnamon Roll
- The Juggler|The Stinker|The Joker
- Mustang|Camaro|Hyundai Sonata
- find all buses|find all crosswalks|find the meaning of life
- find all cars|find all lampposts|find true love
- read the letters|read the numbers|read The Lightning Thief
- sweaty palms|light fever|constant vomiting
- writing poetry more|like a lot of poetry|and you use a big feather pen
- you bathe more|you cut your toenails now|you stop skulking on rooftops
- what big paws you have|are you howling?|what happened on the rug?
- what big eyes you have|what big ears you have|is that a deer carcass?
- what big eyes you have|what big ears you have|what big fleas you have
- robot doctors|personal jetpacks|automatic toilet paper
- sausage trees|hamburger bushes|better cholesterol medicine
- robots that cook|robots that clean|robots who don't judge me
- a banana|a pen|a trust fund
- a pudding cup|a nice note|keys to a robot
- a comic book|some crayons|deed to the family vineyard
- is it too expensive|is it too cheap|how can I steal it?
- is it the right one|are they the right one|will this unite the kingdom
- does it fit|does it glow green|will it give them superpowers
- paper|leaves|bacon
- plastic bags|uranium|pretend bricks
- paper mache|pudding|love
- miss it!|love you!|alley oop!
- free coffee!|I'm your son!|ah, dragon!
- kissie, kissie!|ah, robots!|why don't you love me?!
- stuff your pants with ice|move to Alaska|marry an ice cream millionaire
- keep saying it's a dry heat|think cool thoughts|just give up and melt
- take off clothes|go outside|enjoy air conditioned jail
- they sure like pollution|they spend a lot on clothes|I miss MTV's Road Rules
- they sure get mad a lot|especially about traffic|and everything, really
- they aren't too smart|they're very impulsive|why aren't dogs in charge?
- go fishing|play chess|have him build you a spaceship
- talk about life|talk about the cosmos|get some sweet Insta photos
- visit the Everglades|visit EPCOT|fight a giant mosquito
- see a manatee|swim with a manatee|discover you hate manatees
- dogs will talk|cats will fly|hamsters unchanged
- sky will turn red|oceans will boil|we get a Cheers reboot
- cars will fly|planes will drive|submarines in space
- Frankenstein pooped his pants|Wolfman stole some change|Dracula broke his ankle
- The Mummy clogged the toilet|Dracula got mono|They ran out pigs in a blanket
- It was more a bash than a mash|It was at the YMCA|They were all very polite
- how haunted is it?|where's the best place to cry|will they visit?
- what's that smell?|is it Godzilla-proof?|did they film Parent Trap here?
- is that original crown molding?|is it a good school district?|can i buy just half?
- are people interested?|am i interesting?|am I gonna do it anyways?
- should it be funny?|should it be scary?|should it ramble on for hours?
- chimney butt|reindeer lung|mistletoe hives
- bird attacks|zapped by lightning|ungrateful kid bites
- ow!|that hurt|why did I fight a kangaroo?
- so this| is|kickboxing
- that hurt|that really hurt|maybe I shouldn't be Batman
- not wiping machines|using equipment too long|licking the dumbbells
- throwing down weights|taking too long in shower|making a fort from used towels
- Mustard!|Ketchup!|Relish!
- My Basement is Leaking!|Need A Repair Company!|Any recommendations?!
- This|Gym|Is Haunted!
- may cause headaches|may cause inflated self-worth|may cause rambling conversations
- may cause hangovers|may cause impulse purchases|may cause late night ex texts
- climb Empire State Building|find out why he's mad|hug it out
- dress like a sexy ape|get engaged|leave him altar, devastated
- your parties are at 8AM|and you serve 2% milk|everyone out by 9
- you buy a house|get really into your lawn|start a lawncare podcast
- during your wedding vows|at a class recital|after a big race
- while petting a cat|while eating a taco|while hosting NPR
- when grocery shopping|when making a bed|any time not in a car
- zap him with lightning|give him a sportcoat|and neck bolts?
- find a big guy|bring him back to life|hope you become pals
- you can't borrow my chair|turn up the heat|how did you steal a stapler?
- we wore the same thing!|is it casual Friday|where's the disinfectant?
- get a spoon|dig a tunnel|to that nicer prison next door
- collect all the yarn you can|knit an airplane|fly to Hawaii
- say "I love it here"|until they believe you|they let you go as punishment
- think of something awful|like my life|now i'm bummed
- think happy thoughts|think happier thoughts|give up and weep
- take frequent breaks|don't get invested|be dead inside
- I was born|I went to college|it was expensive
- I was a happy kid|a less happy teenager|then I fought a werewolf
- I grew up in a small town|met the love of my life|got a dog last week
- They can fly|They die in sunlight|Nope, that's vampires
- They're too adorable|They hate bamboo|They're made of marshmallow
- They're not bears|They're not cats|They're actually big skunks
- stealing yellow bricks|breeding flying monkeys|phone scams
- stealing the tin man's axe|calling the scarecrow names|downloading movies
- they were out|bikes are too dangerous|it's not your birthday
- bikes were outlawed today|the dog ate it|bikes don't really exist
- the store was closed|I gave you one, didn't I?|I thought you said pike
- I|Am|Batman
- Here's|Some|Gold
- Jedi|Mind|Trick!